Probably the only mistake, I Did – Self-talk part 3
Because I had no voice of my own, I developed the habit of saying to yes to everything that came my way. I was so damn influenced by the surroundings that right from career to making friends were all somebody else’s choice. Right & wrong were all according to others opinion. Even though inside I knew who I liked, what I wanted, which dress would suit the best on me, I did not even speak for my own choices. I was completely living an acquired life. For a long time, I did not know what I felt inside of me was exactly opposite to what people around me thought for me. Even though there was a voice inside me, I considered it to be wrong, poor in understanding & sensitive. I believed inside voice(the real me in truth) knows nothing. Exactly why I was never happy. I was constantly searching for happiness, for love, for a true friend, I was continuously in search and I never found any of these. Whatever felt true to the real me always felt false to the outer me and between this juggle, the time was lost. I was probably searching for myself.
Even then, I never forgot to talk to myself before going to be. That was the only time I would meet myself. That was the only best time, I spent with myself. That was the only time when I could cheer up my own self, sleep peacefully and wake up to begin a new day. And that was the only time I was happy from within.
The truth is, until Sounds came in my life and helped me shut the chatter of the mind, I hadn’t known to listen to the voice within. It was only in 2015, I learned that I was living an acquired life and not the life of my own. I clearly remember how I had this insightful experience ~ I have developed a very good habit of meditating with Sounds every single day and that day also I went into deep silence after Sound Meditation. Only when I woke up I suddenly had this whole pattern rewinding like a roll of movie that showed me how I believed in someone else’s choices to be mine. There was no looking back and that was the day I had promised myself to listen to the voice that comes from inside. Since then everything in my life has changed. My relationship with my husband, my daughter drastically changed, we bond on a much deeper level now. I have grown in my career and that’s because I am confident of my own choices. After this huge shift in me, I conducted my first workshop in a foreign land, in Dubai and one of the students(Ms. Kristina) after the workshop said – “Priyanka did you know that you are inspiring and your words are very motivating. You should motivate more people, for them to live a better life”.
“Sound taught me to trust myself”.
I hope my stories inspire at least one reader to develop self-talk habit & to listen to their voice within. Today, I strongly believe, self-talk is a very powerful exercise. It has helped me and many others who are on a path of changing themselves to live a life they deserve !!
Self-Talk Part 1: SELF TALK – REASON BEHIND WHO I AM
Self-Talk Part 2: SELF TALK PART 2